WHAT’S IN A WORD – FUNNY TRANSLATIONS

After my last post I decided to look a little deeper into the meaning of some real estate terms often used.  Sometimes things are very accurate, but sometimes things are not always what they seem…….

  • Corner lot – noisy intersection of two busy streets
  • Will help finance – owner knows they’re asking too much
  • Cathedral ceilings – a bear to heat
  • Well below market – nobody else wants it
  • Great starter home – standing room only
  • Easy freeway access – noisy freeway traffic day and night
  • Low maintenance lot – no yard; the kids will have to play in the street
  • Meticulously maintained in the original condition – the appliances are 50 years old
  • Ready to remodel – the house is about to collapse; you will have to invest twice the asking price in remodel before you can move in
  • Newly remodeled kitchen – 50-year old cabinetry and faucets have been replaced with cheap modern equivalents
  • Ready to move in – the interior has been painted with one coat of cheap paint
  • Desirable neighborhood – this little house is extravagantly overpriced because the neighborhood has a snobbish reputation
  • 1 car garage – you can drive your Ford Escort into the garage but there is no room to open the door
  • Partial mountain view – you can see the tip of Mt. Diablo if you climb on the roof
  • Territorial view – good view of your neighbor’s bedroom window
  • Build sweat equity – the house is not inhabitable
  • Efficiently designed kitchen – the kitchen is too small to fit two people at the same time
  • Doll-house – tiny place filled with ugly knick-knacks.
  • Secure location – the neighbors dog barks all night
  • Country living – too far from anywhere to drive to work
  • Cozy – not a single room could fit a full size bed
  • Close to all amenities – the backyard is a shopping mall parking lot
  • Must see inside – the outside is ugly
  • Motivated sellers – subtract 15% from the asking price
  • Near transportation – Amtrak train goes through the backyard, every 15 minutes, day and night
  • Just available – previous owner just died on the premises, hope you don’t believe in ghosts

How will you find a creative way to describe the flaws in your home when you plan to sell?

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