WHAT’S IN A WORD – FUNNY TRANSLATIONS

After my last post I decided to look a little deeper into the meaning of some real estate terms often used.  Sometimes things are very accurate, but sometimes things are not always what they seem…….

• Corner lot – noisy intersection of two busy streets
• Will help finance – owner knows they’re asking too much
• Cathedral ceilings – a bear to heat
• Well below market – nobody else wants it
• Great starter home – standing room only
• Easy freeway access – noisy freeway traffic day and night
• Low maintenance lot – no yard; the kids will have to play in the street
• Meticulously maintained in the original condition – the appliances are 50 years old
• Ready to remodel – the house is about to collapse; you will have to invest twice the asking price in remodel before you can move in
• Newly remodeled kitchen – 50-year old cabinetry and faucets have been replaced with cheap modern equivalents
• Ready to move in – the interior has been painted with one coat of cheap paint
• Desirable neighborhood – this little house is extravagantly overpriced because the neighborhood has a snobbish reputation
• 1 car garage – you can drive your Ford Escort into the garage but there is no room to open the door
• Partial mountain view – you can see the tip of Mt. Diablo if you climb on the roof
• Territorial view – good view of your neighbor’s bedroom window
• Build sweat equity – the house is not inhabitable
• Efficiently designed kitchen – the kitchen is too small to fit two people at the same time
• Doll-house – tiny place filled with ugly knick-knacks.
• Secure location – the neighbors dog barks all night
• Country living – too far from anywhere to drive to work
• Cozy – not a single room could fit a full size bed
• Close to all amenities – the backyard is a shopping mall parking lot
• Must see inside – the outside is ugly
• Motivated sellers – subtract 15% from the asking price
• Near transportation – Amtrak train goes through the backyard, every 15 minutes, day and night
• Just available – previous owner just died on the premises, hope you don’t believe in ghosts

How will you find a creative way to describe the flaws in your home when you plan to sell?