FUNNY MONDAY……

I thought I would start Monday off with something to make you laugh.

……And that’s how the fight started jokes…….just in good fun!

My wife walked into the den & asked “Whats on the TV?”
I replied “Dust”

……….And that’s how the fight started

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One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

……….And that’s how the fight started

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A woman is  looking at her body in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’
‘The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’

……….And that’s how the fight started

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My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?” “No,” she answered.
I then said, “Is that your final answer?” She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes.”
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

……….And that’s when the fight started

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.”
I bought her a scale.

……….And that’s when the fight started

 

Let me know if you have any good jokes you would like to share……..Happy Monday!